Month: January 2015

bartelsc – (moment)a divided

I sat in the silence of eternity and imagined she was there with me.

She would put her hand on my shoulder, absorbing sorrow and grief and guilt. But pain would hold fast and steady.

“You know,” she would say, the whisper of ageless remnants echoing loudly through the creaks and moans of time, “you can just let go. At any time, you can just let go.

She would speak of things she could not know, could not even guess at. She would hint at desires longed for and nameless. She would be both unable to comprehend and, more dangerously, capable of relaying with a terrifying certainty.

I would look her in the eyes and lament. I would cry out in my mind with voiceless fury. I would wither and shrivel and compound and destroy. I would internalize. I would die.

“Easier said than done, I’m afraid.” I would say with false confidence. One phrase, two ideas. As powerful together as they are meaningful when separated.

She would squeeze my hand.

I would sigh.

She would vanish.

I would remain.

I will always remain.

moment pic

Added March 22, 2016
This is one of my favorite entries into my “moment” series. At the time of THIS writing, the rest aren’t present, but they will be, eventually.

Added April 12, 2017
The final (moment)s story is now present and since it’s a completed series I made it possible to view them all by using the “Category” option on the side of the screen.
Just read through all of these, in order, for the first time since I wrote this one, over two years ago. I’m proud of them, even though that funeral one is mostly junk.
I should write something to tie them together.
I should never do that.

bartelsc – its because this is cranial bleeding

Open wrists
talk back again

In the wounded
of its skin

They’ll pinprick the witness
In ritual contrition

The AM trinity
fell upon asphyxia-derailed

In the rattles of…

Made its way through the tracks
Of a snail slouching whisper

A half mass comute
through umbilical blisters

Spector will lurk
Radar has gathered
Midnight nooses from
boxcar cadavers

Added March 22, 2016
EXO-SKELETAL JUNCTION AT THE RAILROAD DELAYED!!!

bartelsc – box (or: please dismantle all these phantom limbs)

this weekend i find out how much of a life i still have.

as is quantifiable by amount of boxes i can fill.

life is stupid.

you can one minute know exactly where joy comes from.

and turn around to find only spite and ash spewing forth from the same location.

fuck a truck.

Added March 22, 2016
Mars Volta permeated every facet of my life for a brief period of time between 2014 and 2015.
As an aside, boxing up your things for any reason is immeasurably sad. If for no other reason than you see how much space you fill with stuff. And yourself.