bartelsc – batman

every christmas i watch batman returns. it is a christmas movie. if you don’t believe me you are a fool.

this was the wrost christmas in my entire life.

i have never, ever, felt this alone before.

in the immortal words of fry:
“time makes fools of us all”

i wish i was batman.


Added March 22, 2016
With Aubrey gone, this was the worst Christmas I’d ever experienced. Of this there is no debate.

I really DO watch Batman Returns every year. No joke. Started the tradition about five years ago with my brothers, stuck ever since.

bartelsc – Callier/Arnaert

When nothing is left
There’s nothing to lose.

When there’s nothing to lose
There is peace of the mind.


Added March 22, 2016
I miss the sound these guys used to have, back when they were good. Just tried to re-listen to “In Wonderland”, the newest album, today. Key work is “tried”

bartelsc – a pit

my grandmother died this morning and i have no place to put all the energy and emotion. because she abandonded me and left behind nothing.

i just throw stuff in this pit, now, and it seems bottomless. but i will worry with each new bit of myself i toss in there, that it will overflow.

everything is pain.

i’m so overdramatic.


Added March 22, 2016
Hard to believe my last grandparent died over a year ago. Rest in peace, old people.

bartelsc – two truths and a lie

1.) once when i was a child i dressed in my sister’s clothing and pranced about my room pretending i’d had a sex change and was now a woman. and by child i mean it… i was probably around 12 or so years old. i have never had a deep rooted feeling of sexual confusion. aside from that one moment.

2.) yesterday afternoon while watching movies with my brother and laughing, i released myself, silently and privately, from the shackles of regret and internal torment. i’m now single and i’m accepting of this as fact.

3.) if i could go to any one place on earth without fear it would be egypt.


Added March 21, 2016
Oh man. Not clearing this one up today. Oh, no. Too much at stake for that.