Facebook – Top 100 FAVORITE Video Games: “…”

Sometimes people make video games and throw in moments that make us scratch our head, drop our jaws, or throw our PC’s out the window. The one thing all of these have in common, though, is that they make us utter the powerful “What the fuck?!” – a phrase that symbolizes either frustration, astonishment, anger, or disbelief. The following moments are what I consider some of the most out there moments in any of the games I’ve ever played. What are yours?

EFF WHY EYE: Spoilers ahoy!

Top 10 “WTF?!” Moments in Gaming:

10: Chris Redfield Fuckin’ HATES Boulders: Resident Evil 5

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

 

For the most part, this video speaks for itself… Chris, feeling his friend and partner Sheva is in dire situations, attempts to head her and Wesker off during a climactic battle that takes place entirely in an active volcano. How does he do this? He punches the hell out of a giant rock in his way. Seriously. When the boulder that obstructs his passage won’t be simply pushed out of the way, the games makes players hit buttons at the right time to “hook” the boulder over and over again, punching it with a closed fist until he can finally start pushing it. And then, with a final note of “fuck you, rock!” he punches it one last time before it goes into the lava below. Seriously.

9: James Raynor, Galactic Retard: StarCraft II

“HERP DERP LOVE HURRRRR”

At the mid-point in the game, SC2’s primary protagonist gets a visit in a dark corridor on his ship from the wise and powerful Zeratul. Just so you know the lengths this guy goes to visit Raynor, understand that he flies no ship that is detected and somehow makes his way on board without alerting anyone or using any of the standard methods (like a dock, for example). How does he get in? Doesn’t matter, he’s Zeratul, and he’s there to tell Jimmy not to touch Kerrigan, the “Queen of the Blades” and ruler of the Zerg. Why? Well, if they remove her from power, a more dangerous and universe-threatening force takes over the Zerg and wipes out all other life. Seems like a good reason to keep her around. So, with this knowledge and information from Zeratul – and even after FIGHTING one of those monsters and being unable to kill it (if you do the secret mission, that is) – what does Raynor do? Well, of course he goes right out and takes Kerrigan out of power by turning her human. Why? Because he loves her. Guess who is running the Zerg now. The answer may surprise you… its NO ONE. Way to go Jimmy… you set the entire universe up for a major fall. Hope the sex is good, now, which I doubt, since she’s still got those creepy tentacles for hair. Seriously.

8: Would You Kindly?: Bioshock

“I hope no one stumbles upon my room where I hide all my secrets in plain sight. That’d be awful.”

The entire game you hang out with Atlas (via radio) as he helps you help him. To do this, he asks you do complete tasks that will get the both of you closer to your end goal: freedom from the tyranny of Andrew Ryan, diabolical lord of Rapture, the game’s underwater city. Of course, as is the case with every game these guys make… guess what? The guy you like isn’t really your friend after all. In System Shock 2, the chick leading you was dead and being imitated by SHODAN. In Bioshock the guy never really existed and is actually Frank Fontaine, the game’s primary antagonist. While this alone doesn’t set it apart, the real deal is that you’ve been doing what you were told to do by way of subliminal phrase. Every time “Atlas” asked for you help, he said “would you kindly?” – a trigger phrase that makes you do his bidding. The deeply interesting part about this is that the only way to continue with the game is to follow these commands, bringing into question the idea of “freedom” in any video game.

7: Alma Needs a Baby Daddy: FEAR 2

Talk about baby mama drama…

The whole game you FEAR (see what I did there?) that Alma is going to “consume” you (the game’s language, not mine)… that is to say, you are under the impression that she’s going to absorb you and claim your newfound powers for her own, to give herself strength. So you do battle in an attempt to kill her for good. To do this, you strap into a machine that will empower you further, able to crush her in the “other side” of the psychic world. While strapped into a machine and fighting off ghosts and monsters, you get glimpses of what is happening in real life; Alma is slowly coming closer to you, eventually getting on top of you and grappling begins. Only, it looks rather sexual. And, when you finally shut the machine down and “stop” Alma, what happens? She’s raped the shit out of you and is now pregnant with your child. You were led into a trap by the enemy and then sexed up. “What a tweeest!”

6: Now She’s an Orphan: Half-Life 2: Episode 2

VGCILF – not the one you’d think

“Yes! We stopped the Combine! Now to go and find Dr. Mossman and figure out what’s been going on with that Aperature boat and its cuh-razy portal technology! Man alive, Gordon…! You, me, and dad stopped the evil occupation of our entire planet! We’re on top  of world now!” – This isn’t a direct quote, but it might as well be. After you finally launch the portal closing missile to end the Combine’s ability to bring troops to the planet, you and Alyx are on your way north, happy as can be. But… shit happens. Two Advisors show up and off Eli Vance right in front of you. And his daughter. Granted, Dog comes in and saves the two of you from a similar fate, but not before some heart-wrenching moments of pure emotion. Once freed from their grasp, the game ends with some of the greatest voice acting (I’d say the best single moment in voice acting history, actually) from Merle Dandridge, bringing the power to the character’s crying final words and sniffles. Then the screen goes black. Its an intensely powerful moment showcasing how far games have come. And is enough of a reason for me to not yet be pissed that Episode 3 hasn’t even been announced officially, yet.

5: KOS-MOS is Mary effin’ Magdalene: Xenosaga: Episode 3

The obvious narrative decision

From the start of the first game you know that KOS-MOS was built for a greater purpose than you’d been let on to believe. Not just a protector, not just a method for fighting the Gnosis (the “evil” aliens), and not just for saving everyone in the universe’s ass over and over again, you keep getting hints as to why she’s so goddamned important. Then, at the very end of the third game in the series, a Revelation (see what I did there?) is laid upon you: KOS-MOS was built to house the soul of Mary Magdalene… that one woman from the Bible that may or may not have been married to Jesus Christ? Yeah. That one. Another robot was built OUT OF THE FRIGGIN’ BODY of Mary Magdalene, with the hopes of combining the two when the time was right. And who orchestrated this whole thing? Wilhelm. Or, actually, Satan, since that’s who the game tells us he is. Who can say if this was the plan the game makers had when they started the series or not. One things for sure, though… its pretty damn strange.

4: Pyramid Head Gets Busy: Silent Hill 2

He’s got a few different opinions on what it means to “stab” something…

One of your first real shots of the famous monster from Silent Hill 2 is of him raping a pair of Legs-On-Legs (not their official name, but the one I like the most). In a game series – and, really, video game period – known for fucking with one’s mind and presenting a number of different sequences designed to make you question the developer’s sanity, the moment James Sunderland peeks through the slatted closet doors to watch the Red Pyramid go at it with a Mannequin is distressing and disturbing… Here is a monster that is so evil and vile… it rapes the other monsters! Its a curious introduction to a monster that will haunt you, both in-game and in your nightmares every time you go to sleep during a play-through of the game.

3: Would the Real Sith Lord Please Stand Up?: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

B.A.M.F.

In what is easily considered one of the best Star Wars video games ever made (by one of the best RPG makers in the history of the genre), players assume the role of a Jedi Knight with amnesia in a time of death and destruction at the hands of Darth Malak, dark lord of the Sith. Throughout the game, players uncover more and more about the dark past surrounding the evil tyrant and his former master, Darth Revan. But aboard Malak’s not-really-a-Star-Destroyer, the truth comes out. Yes, the big twist is kind of obvious after the fact, but the truth was shocking; like the fact that John was the demons, you were Revan the whole time. From that moment on you have the choice of being a bad ass mother fucker or being a reformed Sith lord. You must do what you feel is right, of course.

2: …and in the Silence, a Million Virgins Shed a Tear: Final Fantasy VII

This is just one of the meanings Pyramid Head knows for the verb “stab”

An easy entry on this list, sure, but in a game that was pretty light-hearted with some dark overtones, the moment Sephiroth drops from the sky and plunges his over-compensating sword through Cloud’s possible squeeze was a huge deal for the entire gaming world. In an RPG in which you just toss a bird feather at someone that just had a monster teeth-rape their face to death and get them to stand back up, the idea that one of the primary characters could and did die was shocking. Even more so, the fact that she can’t be brought back from the dead in any fashion is even more shocking. Her death set the stage for the rest of the game, sure, but that moment solidified two things: the love/hate people have for Sephiroth, the world over… and the love/hate people have for Aeries, as well. Also: its Aeris. Not Aerith. I hate you if you think differently.

1: Metal Gear Solid 2: Metal Gear Solid 2

We know he has a penis… the president touched it.

Yes, that’s right… the WHOLE GAME. From the moment you start playing as Raiden and hang out with “Pliskin” who is clearly Solid Snake, up until you have to run around in Metal Gear Arsenal’s “anus” (seriously the name for that room near the end of the game) while flipping around, hanging onto your precious junk with all your life, this game is crazy. I love the game because its awesome, looks and plays like a dream, and is a ton of fun. But this game introduces us to Liquid Snake living through his arm and the Patriots… a series of… well, I won’t ruin that little doozy, here. Also: Otacon’s semi-Oedipal relationship with his step-mom? Or the fact that Vamp can’t die? How about the fact that there is a third clone of Big Boss. Oh, he used to be the leader of America, too. Oh, and Raiden gets incredibly excited that he and Otacon’s sister didn’t drown. Oh, yeah, and Campbell needs scissors. 61.

Honorable Mention: The Entirety of Final Fantasy XIII

Pick any moment in the game’s plot and I don’t know what is happening. And I beat it.

I waited to play this game forever and when I got it, it was gorgeous. But that doesn’t mean I have a goddamned clue as to what happens during its plot. From the word “Go!” I had no idea what I was really doing or what my characters’ real motivations were. Love? Yeah, likely, but is that even close to enough to make sense of a game with more terms I don’t understand than are featured on the space toilet in 2001? Never once, even with all the text materials to utilize as backup info, do I feel like I know what happened, especially at the end. Did I kill god? Did I doom an entire world? Did I save it? It was a fun game and pretty to look at, but I really don’t have a fucking clue what happened in this game. Not in the least.

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Added March 16, 2017
This is a great list and possibly the best entry in the entire Top 100 Games list I did, back in 2010. I’m proud of this one and the creativity and the fun featured. Good work, Young Skyler