Facebook – Top 100 FAVORITE Video Games: “Chicks, Man”

Every ten games I aim to produce a smaller list of top 10’s in specific catergories. These lists will cover a wide range of topics.

In previous years I’ve populated these lists with a “Hottest Girls in Gaming” rundown. Since I’ve grown up some, I’ve realized that this is gross and creepy and abnormal. In attempting to be more “of age” I’ve simply altered the list to simply be my top ten favorite women in video games. While you could easily change the title back to “Hottest Babes” or what have you, note that its your choice to do so. It would all line up and be accurate, but I’m not going to be the one to do it. Anyhow:

Note: Pictures are all cosplay!

Top 10 FAVORITE Women in Gaming:

 10: Sniper Wolf (Metal Gear Solid)
I think this is best cosplay in this list.

In the dead, cold wintery air of Shadow Moses, only one woman has the guts to wear her clothes with the zipper down to her navel. That woman is Sniper Wolf. One of the many morally-ambiguous boss characters in the first MGS game, Wolf provided the best boss battle in the entire adventure, pitting herself against Snake across an empty snow field at night. It was silent and she was deadly (of course you could just fire guided missles at her and be a cheap bastard son of a bitch).

9: Alyx Vance (Half-Life 2)
Not the best photo, but still a good effort

One of the most dreaded things in video games is the escort quest. But in Half-Life 2, for once the companion at your side did more than get in the way and take all your shotgun blasts in her head. Alyx is one of the most helpful NPC’s in gaming history. By the end of HL2-Episode 2 you’ve become attatched to your NPC buddy. Thanks mostly to Valve’s at-the-time incredible facial animation and some wonderful voice acting, Alyx is one of the most human characters ever depicted in gaming.

8: Bastila Shan (KOTOR)
Can’t find any of her in her standard outfit. What’s the deal?

Jennifer Hale can make any great character that much better just by speaking in a British accent. Bastilla is a dualbladed-lightsaber wielding beauty and one of the few Jedi Knights in Star Wars canon to posses a yellow blade. As such, she stands out that much more. You can romance her and you can eventually make-out with her, but its her ability to use battle meditation and the fact that she goes dark Jedi and back that makes her interesting. Also: she was modeled after Kate Beckinsale, and – despite the fact that that chick can’t act – Kate’s hot. So, you know, that’s a plus.

7: Aeris (FFVII/Kingdom Hearts)
She DID love plants…

Aeris gets all the right points by being one the mose sweet and good-natured characters in gaming history. Also: we have her forced down our throat with how darling she is so we invest and get hurt at her passing. Oh, yeah, Spolier Alert! She dies! Featured heavily in subsequent SE “compilation of FFVII” entries, Aeris is mostly around anymore to simply tug at heartstrings and make those fanboys with weak knees drool over the notion of saving her in any fashion, even if it means going back in time, a la Crisis Core.

6: Jill Valentine (Resident Evil series)
HAHA they can’t all be winners

Jill Valentine is awesome. Despite the origional game’s first PS1 outing, the one with the awful B-movie, full-acted cut scenes, Jill maintains both her status as the best female in Resident Evil history and as the master of unlocking. The original beret-wearing badass, Jill can later be seen going toe-to-toe with all the worst enemies in the series, including both the Nemesis in RE3 (in which she wore those boots!) and series-long-antagonist Wesker in RE5. However, she was cheated out of her death-blow to the sunglasses wearing villian and will no doubt have no problem bringing that up for the rest of her life since, you know, she’s a woman.

5: Samus Aran (Metroid series)
Real good effort

Samus is over-rated. But by that I mean she isn’t. She’s maybe the coolest chick on this list and that’s something to brag about (note: not really). The suit, the gun-arm, the games – a regular trifecta of awesomeness. In recent years, the Metroid series has moved away from a realistic depiction of Samus (like the one seen at the end of Metroid Prime 1) and more of an anime-inspired style has been taken up in its place. This would be awful if not for the fact that that Zero Suit they keep showing her in is real eye-pleasing. To say the least.

4: Aya Brea (Parasite Eve series)
Nailed it (and so would I)

Maybe the most obscure of the characters featured here on this list, Aya gets points for teaching me a lot about Mitochondria (does it need a capital M? Yes. Yes it does.) and was featured in one of my all time favorite PS1 games (expect it in the top 30). She had crazy-ass powers and slowly ages backwards. They stopped making games with her because of this (although a 3rd entry in the series is due out on PSP in the near future). This is because, eventually, Parasite Eve 6 would come out and no one wants to play a game set in the year 3000+ in which you play as a gun-toting baby with angel wings and… oh, wait…

3: Tali (Mass Effect series)
Not the best, but still: good attempt

First things first: THEM HIPS! Ok, moving on: Tali earns her spot by simply being likeable. Say what you will about her accent, but this is a sweet girl that is excited to simply be on your ship in the first game, and then is turned into a veritable badass by the time you meet up with her in the second one. Electing to romance her was not a choice for me on my initial run-through of Mass Effect 2. Nay, it was demanded of me the second she started to flirt. I mean, seriously. THEM HIPS!

2: KOS-MOS (Xenosaga series)
LOOK AT THEM BOOT(type thing)S!

Zak, you may be surprised by this (or you may not be. Who knows?). Granted, this isn’t even a woman. Its just a robot with a chest. But this hulking mass of beauty and weaponry was my driving force when it came to purchasing and playing the first Xenosaga (while the game’s length and overbearing story was the driving force behind me giving up on finishing the game on my first attempt). By the end of the series, KOS-MOS had had two incredible aspects to her video-game career; The first was the fact that, in the end, its revealed that she was built as a metal-and-flesh-cage for the spirit of Mary Magdelene. Yes. That’s right. The second was that ridiculous stomach-cannon she had. I could watch her open her belly up any day.

1: Rinoa (FFVIII)
Best of the best

Before you get snippy with me, remember that I do like VIII well enough. I appreciate its story and its characters. I just didn’t like the love aspect the game touted around. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind it in the game or the way it played out. I just hated that the whole thing was advertised as a big, sci-fi, epic love story. Was it, in the end? No, I don’t think so. It had that as a strong element. But if you’re going to feature a love story in a game – in any capacity, mind you – you need two characters who are interesting and engaging, two people you want to see get together and stay together. You want characters you care about by the end. Since Squall sucked, Rinoa was left to pick up the slack, enough for two characters. I feel she succeeded.

Honerable Mention: KOS-MOS (Xenosaga series)
HAHAHA ZAK!

HAHAHA! ZAK! LOOK WHAT I DID!

---

Added September 29, 2016
That stupid Honorable Mention joke rears its head, again!
I feel bad for my cruel commentary in some places, particularly regarding Jill.
Sorry, Jill cosplayer!!!