Month: August 2009

Facebook – Before Sunset: A “Review”

What a wonder of a film. Here is a movie, right off the bat, that can’t exist without the first film. At all. If you skipped the first one, you’d never get any part of this one. Seeing the first (and far superior) movie (Before Sunrise) is a must for two reasons; first, its required, second… the first film is a masterpiece.

Here’s the thing about this movie. It’s magic.

Not as magical as Sunrise, but Sunset has the bonus of having characters not only fill in their roles, but play them of age. The time between films is real, both on the age of the actors and of the characters. This is played with such wonder that it really feels like the same two characters. I can only wonder what seeing these two movies in theatres would have been like, actually waiting all that time and not knowing that there was a “part 2” to the first film (which, I must admit, makes the events and the ending of the first film less bittersweet than intended).

The ending of this film is whatever you make of it, which is the best part, I think. Seriously, what else could be expected? Otherwise, as one Mr. Aaron W. Jaco put it, having both characters be in one flawed relationship or another does bypass moral issues and – actually – strays the plot and characters away from discovering just what love really is to them. Maybe.

It could be argued that they are only in crummy relationships because of their previous encounter (a point that both characters mention at least once near the film’s conclusion). Either way you look at it, however, it is still disappointing.

I will also note that the choice that Jesse makes at the end of the film is not an ideal one and not really the most believable outcome, but – again – thats only if you take the film literally. But, then again, what other choice does the ending leave you with?

At the end of the day, this is a fine film and something that didn’t even need to exist, but – as I said previously – it isn’t something that you could ever simply watch on its own. View the first film and then this one. Or skip this one. Its the ultimate companion piece to any movie ever made, true, but not essential.

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Added September 21, 2016
I keep thinking they’ll release a boxed set with all three films, but I don’t want that because what if in seven years there is a fourth film? UGH!
I kinda hope they do keep making these movies, though. I’ll keep watching ’em.

Facebook – Synecdoche New York: A “Review”

What.

Here is a movie that is two parts Lynch and four parts Kafka (referenced in the movie itself). Like Eraserhead, this is a film about getting older and the fears of aging/fatherhood through the terrible and strange things featured more often than not in something akin to “The Castle” or “The Trial” and it this that writer/director Charlie Kaufman produced his masterpiece.

All of the actors in this are amazing, obvious because they have to deal with the incredible scenes and dialogue and events and they do so without faltering, even the no-name people. Take for example the characters that live in a house that is perpetually on fire. Hoffman, however, steals the show (as per usual) by being full of pure acting prowess. His aging and his movement through time is beyond ridiculous. Lines are delivered in a way that makes me love the movie more than I should:

“I was a baby once…”
“I’m sorry…”

Symbolism is the name of the game, however, and the movie’s got it in spades, while still having a plot that is easy to understand and follow. Hoffman takes us through this, his character’s insane plight, with such grace and composure. Caden Cotard (Hoffman’s character) has such dreams and such desires that his inability to secure any of them is heartbreaking and stomach-turning.

This movie is not simply worth seeing. It is worth owning. The surrealism of everything is beyond the edge of madness and I can’t even begin to tell you how stupid that sentence is. Hell. This movie is on the top of my list of movies I’ve seen all year.

Kaufman is an amazing creator and inspires such creativity in me after this movie. Breathtaking.

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PRAISE………………………..ended!

Added September 21, 2016
God damn, I need to watch THIS too. And all our movies are boxed up, already.
Grumble-cakes…

Facebook – Inglorious Basterds: A “Review”

Where to even begin with this terrible and pointless movie?

Let’s start with dead Hitler, the film’s climax. Never before in my life have I been so shocked to see a character killed on screen as I was during the finale of this movie. I get it, QT, you’re really big into exploitation flicks. I saw Death Proof. I know what you like. But here’s the deal… you can’t cross the streams, man. Not between exploitation films and historical fiction.

A while back I read this book based on what the years following Lincoln’s death would have been like had he not been successfully assassinated. It was pretty cool, really, having him live out the rest of his term and eventually die of old age, rather than gunshot to the back of the head. Now, that story is just like this movie, in the historical fiction’s setup. Only, this movie is all setup.

In the Lincoln story, you basically start the narrative with the assassination attempt and then go on from there. You don’t have an interesting story if its just about how he DIDN’T die. That’s a setup for the real story. Good historical fiction is only viable if you showcase the ramifications of changing an event. Marvel Comics does it right with its “What If?” comics from time to time, changing major Marvel events. By simply having Captain America win the Civil War from a few years back doesn’t make it a good story. The story is in how it’s different.

Back to this film; the ramifications of actually succeeding to kill Hitler aren’t explored here at all. AT ALL. He’s shot dead, then over-and-over again repeatedly until his head – apparently – blows up. Then dynamite explodes near him, clearly killing him. That’s it. Then its to the gut-wrenchingly tacky and stupid ending to the movie (showcasing the films major strong points, Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz, both of whom deserve awards for their incredible, albeit short amount of work on screen) and the obviously placed end title card and credits.

By NOT telling the story of what will be different in this alternate timeline, the entire movie becomes pointless. There is no story. Period. And here’s the thing; there was such potential. In the hands of a better writer, the story of the Jewish theatre manager and her time spent living after the devastating murder of her family at the hands of the SS and the eventual climax could have been heartbreaking, Oscar-worthy, and incredible. But instead, it was treated like a B or C story line, an incredible fact, giving as how even the main story line was treated like a B-line, anyhow.

wp-1474482440633.jpgOne of the film’s only highlights, Brad Pitt is only on screen for about 1/20th of the films (nearly) 3 hour run time…

The music was mostly recycled from Kill Bill (where it at least worked), the title cards and fonts were stolen right from that film, too. The shoehorned addition of voiceover work, both by Samual L. Jackson and QT regular Harvey Keitel were pointless (and Jackson’s voiceovers, regardless of who they would have had do them, were stupid and dragged the plot down. Every time,) and Mike Myers was cast in a role I thought he did well in, but they should have known better. Everyone in my theatre laughed when they saw him and wouldn’t stop it the whole time he was on screen. And don’t get me started about how that whole British subplot was pointless.

At the end of the day, though, I simply can’t stomach a movie that over glorifies the killing of the Nazis like this one does. It makes me sick to think of how many people laughed at Eli “can’t act any better than he can direct” Roth’s ‘Bear Jew’ beating that officer to death with a bat. My theatre applauded at the end of the movie. After Roth’s character’s suicide mission went off without a hitch (I won’t even note here how their actions, as depicted in the movie, were of the same caliber as those boys ramming planes into certain skyscrapers we all cried over a few years back. Think about the reasoning and the actions and you should become sick). Why? Uncomfortable gut reaction? Or because they don’t understand how disgusting the movie really was with that stuff?

Overall, it was a mostly well made film with good camera work, some solid directing, and many empty possibilities. Also, a bunch of inane bullshit that was neither necessary nor entertaining. QT needs to stick to what he’s good at. And, as of late, I don’t even know what that is.

PS: A friend and I had this convo later this evening:
ME: Saw Bastereds. It was god-awful.
Her: Why? I loved it.
ME: Why?
Her: It was awesome!
ME: Yeah, but why was it awesome?
Her: … did you even SEE the movie?
ME: Why was it awesome?
Her: You probably didn’t get it.

….what didn’t I get?

Added September 21, 2016
Attempted to watch this again, recently.
By “attempted” I mean I saw the case on the shelf and barfed.

Facebook – That 15 Movies Thing

Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. List 15 movies you’ve seen that will always stick with you. They should be the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag friends, including me, because I’m interested in seeing what movies my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your Profile page, paste rules in a new Note, cast your 15 picks, and tag people in the Note, upper right hand side.)

1. Dumb & Dumber
2. The 5th Element
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze
4. Princess Mononoke
5. The Dark Knight
6. True Lies
7. Terminator 2
8. Kill Bill vol. 1
9. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
10. Eraserhead
11. Disclosure
12. Red Dragon
13. Unforgiven
14. Spider-Man
15. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

If you are tagged, it is only because I found you in my contacts first.

Added September 21, 2016
I’d re-do this, but I just read my previous list and so it would be hard to not make it the exact same.
Shame on you for having Episode 1 on there though, man. Shame on you.

Facebook – Saw V: A “Review”

So I’m typing this as I go along with the movie for the most part. I love these movies. For whatever reason. It might just be for the pure bliss of seeing people get killed in stupid ways.

The opening, from the get go, is out of this world. The first death is amazing. I like a good pendulum death as much as the next guy, but this unrated DVD has such gore in it!

The aftermath of what happened to that family from the 3rd Saw movie was great right away. Brutal end to that story (or is it the end?) Also, the aftermath of what happened to the police officer (also, his reluctance to die in that cool trap was neat. Rammin’ that pen into his throat! Badass.

Tobin Bell is here. In a tape. I love this guy and his friggin’ character.

As a quick aside, whatever happened to the Dr. from the first movie? The one that had to do away with his foot to escape? I assume he died of blood loss, but where is the proof? Nowhere to be found, it seems.

…what’s in the box, Jokey? What’s in the box?

Cool connections to the other movies throughout this film so far. Already we have the husband and wife from 3-4, Jigsaw’s ex, Agent Perez from 4, and pictures of the dead cops from the first movie (Danny Glover!). Good, solid ties to the other films so far. But what of the police officer from the end of the 4th movie? The black guy that tried to save the cop from the 2nd one? Hmm…

The acting is a little stale in this one (aside from pen-throat-guy’s voice being all gross and terrible, which is probably the best and coolest thing so far), but these movies were never about that. They are about guts and stuff and, as of this point, I haven’t seen enough guts. A shame, really.

JULIE BENZ! I love Julie Benz. Darla is nonstop cool in all things I see her in. And she’s not blonde although you can tell she is totally wearing a wig. That isn’t her hair color. At all.

Bad acting from these five for the most part, aside from the bald guy and Benz. They’re going to spend their 15 minutes talking about themselves? I’d be trying to escape from the start.

SWEET MOVE BY THE BALD GUIY PULLIN’ THAT CABLE! HOLY SHIT! Floored that guy. Snap.

No one threw up? From the chick gettin’ her head taken off? Bogus.

Julie Benz is not stupid. I know they haven’t given me names yet, but if they give me her name, I’m still going to call her Benz. Oh well.

I’m having the same problem in this one that I did in the last one, and that is that I can’t keep the two male leads apart.

What news website shows such gross photos of murder victims to the public like that? Plausibility in these movies have not always been the most important aspect of the film’s enjoyment, but as the movies have gotten more serious and more about telling a story over time, it appears to me that they should have more credible story lines to tie it all up. And that means there has to be some realistic elements. I know, I’m asking for too much, here, but – in the worlds of GOB Bluth – “COME ON!”

The four leftover people from the first trap are talking in a way that makes me think of the far superior film CUBE. The movie this wishes it was.

If those puppet things are taped in advance, how did it know only four people survived the first trap? Bullshit.

What’s the game, here? How could they all have survived? Either trap?

…WHO knows who WHO is? Questions, questions.

…I need a snack.

I got Marvel Super Hero popsicles. Awesome.

PEE WEE!

TOBIN BELL! AWESOME!

Hahaha flashbacks of his sister!

I really like Jigsaw’s motives and his character. He doesn’t think he’s a bad guy, and keeps becoming more complicated and interesting. I like him a lot. Good bad guy. And without Tobin Bell, he wouldn’t be even close to right. Solid.

Fantastic tie in to the razor wire man from the first movie! So far, in regards to this movie’s willingness to tie up lose ends, its pretty damn good. Did Amanda know about this agent’s involvement, by the way? Hmm… I miss Amanda.

Cool, Tobin is bald again. Real solid. And here is some amazing camera and flashback work. Good stuff.

These are some damn good flashback sequences. Holy shit. Actually, it makes a lot of sense, overall. Couldn’t get Carley Ewles (or however you spell that) into a flashback, though. Nor could they get his OK to use a clip of him.

So he knows about Amanda, but she probably doesn’t know about him. Curious.

“If you’re good at anticipating the human mind… it leaves nothing to chance.”

Good reuse of the Saw theme, here. Solid.

The bathtub room seems really stupid. Really stupid. Holy jesus. These people are dumb. Dumb people. Julie Benz… what is your deal. You are stupid. This entire sequence of events is the lamest sequence of events ever. Lame. Let’s move on, please.

Seriously, though, Jigsaw doesn’t create a scenario that isn’t possible to solve without people living. Where is the solution for these rooms? I hope they’re cool.

The timeline of the previous two movies and this one is so tight, its awesome. I love it. Shit. I like this movie. It takes place between the events of the last one and the autopsy. Good storytelling, so far.

Flashback to that black cop, but no kill shot. What the hell? Is he dead? There’s nothing that comes even close to signifying that.

AHA! They are all the same key! Holy shit. They could have made it with one key. How would they have known that? I call bullshit, again. Argh. What a lame bit of bullshit. Bad storytelling. Julie Benz at least cracks me up. But I guess this asks my question about the tape knowing someone didn’t live: plot hole.

Here’s the sad part about this movie…. and how these movies continue over time… the Jigsaw story (and subsequent characters that follow him) is really interesting. The gore is solid. But past that… HOLY SHIT JULIE BENZ HAS A HUGE RACK! …the storylines are not that solid beyond that. Its kinda dumb and they lack the punch of the first two movies. Also, no Danny Glover.

This hand trap is extra bloody. And gross. And is Julie Benz even cutting her hand? It only looks like the junkie is. And he’s up to his arm. And she isn’t.

DON’T GRAB THAT TAPE PLAYER YOU IDIOT.

GROSS FUCKIN’ ARM SHOT!!!! HOLY SHIT!

Upcoming frame up imminent.

Fisticuffs solve everything.

You idiot. You friggin’ idiot. Tape said the only way to survive is by being in that box. What an idiot you’ve been. You put someone else in a box. He will survive. What an idiot.

Julie Benz? I hope you live, Julie Benz.

God damn it, you stupid fool. You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen. If you die in that room and the guy survives the box, I will punch a hole in a wall so big only 200 people will survive the aftermath. And they won’t be happy.

Frame up complete. And that guy is the hero again.

This police officer is a total idiot. A total friggin’ idiot. He deserves to die. CRUSHED TO DEATH!!!! HOLY GOD DAMN IT!

I’m punchin’ that hole in that wall.

Ok. So.

Final verdict is as follows:

I DID NOT HATE IT.

******* out of **********
(7/10)

Yeah, that’s right Aaron. 7 out of 10 for a Saw movie.

Added September 21, 2016
Basically live-tweeted that movie before people did that, at all.
Here’s what I’ll say: I hope they never reboot this franchise but they totally will.
I should sit down and watch from start to finish, someday.

Facebook – A Little More about Me than you Need to Know, Anyway.

I have some serious trust issues.

I’ve never really trusted a lot of people in my time. Aside from family members and a few close friends. I just find that there is little else I can do to protect myself all the times, aside from trusting as few people as possible. Its a lame way to go about living, and I understand that, but it can’t be helped for the most part.

Because of this, I’ve had a lot of trouble making friends and – in particular – friends of a female gender that I can kiss on the mouth. It is rather difficult for me to share my personality and my life with someone to the extent that they’d even want to talk to me past “Hi, my name is…” because, if I do, who knows what will happen. Again, a very ineffective way to get out of a stale existence, but a way nonetheless.

Over time I’ve developed a way to get past this, and that is to fake it for the most part. Working hard at faking it lends itself well to building a wall up around myself while I actually start to get to know people. It works. Most of my good friends were made while I faked making friends. If that doesn’t make sense, just know it works.

I put all my trust, once – no defenses raised – in a girl. And she didn’t value it. It was a hard thing to deal with. I can’t manage strong relationships with someone if I’m around them nonstop for any length of time because I figure eventually they’ll leave and all the trust I’d placed in them was dashed. So I rarely get bored and lose feelings or find something I don’t like. I just get nervous about it. Make a claim that its a commitment issue or what have you, but its trust related. It keeps me from making commitment, but its the case.

But the one time I did, I think it created in me such a lack of trust in other human beings that it has kept me from really growing past that moment.

I’ve tried, time and again, in the time following. A couple of people I figure I had a solid kind of connection with. But for the most part, they were people. And not people that I could see myself trusting myself with. Not through any fault of their own. Through no fault of their own. Its all me.

This is not a note about ol’ what’s-her-c***. Or the chicks I’ve met and “dated” since what’s-her-c***. This is a note about the horror of not being able to trust other people at all. People are people and I can’t tolerate most of them, but I can trust even less.

I don’t know how to fix the problem. Perhaps there is a “someone” out there that can talk to and trust me and, thus, I can do the same in return. But. Why? Why trust? See, that’s the real damage. I can’t trust but I don’t see any value in it either.

Watchin’ this movie “Before Sunrise” that I picked up for $3 at a Big Lots! because Aaron Jaco has yet to shut up about it, after nearly 4-5 years of talking about it. This is a movie I’m about 30 minute into. It’s magic. But the trust these two characters must contain in their own persons is unbelievable and terrifies me beyond recognition.

It’s easy to confuse this with fear or rejection or a lack of compatibility. But trust is far more complex than those things.

Someday I’ll look back on all of this and think to myself “wish I’d figured out how to solve this issue sooner” but I won’t ever look back on this in a time far enough ahead to make it worth commenting on.

Also, someday, I hope to be rich.

wp-1474480631130.jpgFish on the left: women
Fish on the right: me

Added September 21, 2016
Some of my favorite things to rediscover in old posts are when I make note of future viewings, such as near the end of this note.
While I still have trust issues and I still put up a mean wall with new people in my life, I really believe Aubrey has earned more of my trust than anyone in history, including most of my family. I have hang-ups, still, but for the most part I am worry-free and that is so refreshing.
Doubly so when compared to this note.
While I still think the image fits my life, I just feel more free, these days, than I used to.
The real trick, I found, was to just let some things happen. Question them along the way, but don’t fight them. Course correct and change direction when needed. But never retreat and never quit moving forward.
Take it slow, Young Skyler. You’ll get where I am in good time.

Facebook – G.I. Joe – A “Review”

This is the worst pile I have ever seen.

Previous holders of the coveted “Worst Movie I Have Paid to See in Theatres” title have been:
-28 Weeks Later
-Pathfinder
-Aeon Flux
-Ultraviolet (although I do own this one… heheh)

Joe takes the cake, though, because, while I thought the other films listed here might have been decent and was disappointed, Joe was a film that I knew was going to suck before I went in… and was somehow disappointed with its quality.

God awful acting, the worst CG effects ever, a lame story, characters I wanted to watch die throughout the entire movie (that goes for EVERY character), and contrived and coincidental character development from A to B.

Maybe it was Jaco telling me it was on par with Star Trek for summer movies. Or maybe it was that I secretly thought it couldn’t be nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.

But it was a steaming pile.

A STEAMING PILE.

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“YOU ARE THE TRUE HERO!”

Added September 21, 2016
Pretty sure I third-wheeled it to this with Zak and his at-the-time girlfriend.
I’ve never seen this again, since, but my memory is so accurate, I know it was garbage.