Admit and defend your emotions ’cause they send
out the message that is you and thats the only thing thats true;
I live my life of love through Jim and Pam on The Office, now. Today, Jim took Pam to see the house he bought for her without telling her he got one. She ended up loving the house and they continue to be happy and I love that. They are the only couple left I can root for. And I know they are TV characters, but its all I’ve got. I have to hold out hope that I can enter into something that good myself, someday, but I’m not foolish. Nothing ever works out that well. Clearly.
While I live my love through Jim and Pam, though, I find that I live my real depressing life through John Arbuckle in “Garfield Minus Garfield” comics. John lives alone, never gets ahead, and simply gets stranger and stranger as his life turns more and more sad with every passing day. His life has no meaning because there is no way for him to get any meaning out of it. No outlet for his emotion and no outlet for his pain. He simply exists in sorrow.
So, while I live both my love and my loneliness through fictional characters, where does that leave me? Well, today I found out. Mostly, I just “am” right now. I take up space and I fill a gap. Perhaps that’s not enough. Perhaps thats all I’ll ever need to do.
Right now I think, maybe, I will move out in Jan-Feb, like I planned. Maybe I’ll find a way to live with Daryl, like I’d almost done back in Aug. but didn’t out of respect for my loved one’s wishes. I just can’t stay here anymore. This temporary thing I’m doing is fine until I rebuild, but there’s nothing here to rebuild toward. I have to get out. If that means hard work, so be it. But I have to get out. If I don’t, the option is staying here.
There is no other option: I’m getting out.
Do what you can
What you want
What you must
Feed the hunger inside
Don’t lose your trust
hungryMoving out Jan-Feb? Ha! Good luck, Young Skyler!
I think in a way we’re all John from G-G.
skylerbartels 