Facebook – Hard Hitting News that Hardly Hits Home

I just want to let everyone know that, likely before the end of this week, I will have either done something or started the process of doing something so overly stupid that I can’t even consider the ramifications of said actions at this point. It will be crazy and it will be dumb.
But it will be what it will be.
And I know, I know. I suck at leaving Facebook. Go die in a hole or something. 😀

A SHORT EXCHANGE BETWEEN A FRIEND AND MYSELF:
ME: i’m kinda what you’d maybe call a “lost cause” these days
HER: so if i find you… does that mean i get to keep you?
ME: its more like you catch me.
HER: like a disease then.


Added September 19, 2016
I was gonna just move to LA and try to rebuild a relationship in an awful, tactless, one-sided fashion. I had the money and the motivation. Just, you know, the shittiest reasons of all time.

Frequently Mentioned Truths – Rat-a-tat-tat

Too scared to sacrifice a choice
chosen for me

Well. Today was kinda crappy. I think I said “aw, crumb!” at least four or five times.

Aside from the fact that I had to wake up early to go to work, and aside from the fact that my time at work today was overly boring, and aside from the fact that my brothers had to go back to Iowa today, and aside from the fact that it has started to snow out, now… there was a phone call I received today that was not happy and none too welcome, might I say.

So now I’m worried for more people, again. And, again, I don’t have the selfishness to really shut that out and dwell on my own silly problems. So now I have three different friends with three wildly different issues and I worry about all of them. I know certain individuals will be OK, though, because they’re cool cats and overly mature. I have faith in them. Their situations, however, cause me to go “aw, shit…” over and over. Its no good.

So now I just have to hope against hope that everything goes well for everyone. Which they most likely will. That’s the thing about Skyler and His Amazing Friends, you can’t keep any one of us down for long. Those that wrong us will have problems forever, but we few mighty and modest individuals, well, we get our healing simply by watching them twitch. And twitch they will.

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PICTURED ABOVE: SKYLER AND (just some of) HIS AMAZING FRIENDS.
COOOOOOOOL PEOPLE FOR SUPER COOL TIMES

Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: portishead – silence


Added March 31, 2016
Picture taken at Hanson concert in Des Moines, IA.
“Monuments Burn Into Memories”
I remember every single issue every single friend was having. I won’t detail said issues, here. I just think it is interesting that things always remain the same no matter how different they get.
That doesn’t make sense? Whoops. You got me!

Frequently Mentioned Truths – So He Chases them Away

Freezin’
Rest his head on a pillow made of concrete (again)

Well, forget that thing I just said. The Great Yakutsk Empire wins out two times in a row. I played a stupid game and made stupid choices but I destroyed all that stood before me. It made me smile all over (note: didn’t make me smile in Spain, primarily because there is nothing to smile about in Spain aside from the jumping beans, but those were imported from Mexico so its not really worth smiling about as they are of foreign decent). Once again, however, it came down to Pete and I and, well, I just had the numbers.

For the record, Monopoly-Risk is a genius creation. No game requires more strategy than it does and no game is quite as tight. Some may say Chess is a real thinking man’s game, or checkers or – for the love of God – Chutes and Ladders. But no, Monopoly-Risk requires more thinking than all of those games combined with trying to win a debate with Richard Dawkins (look him up). Oh yeah, good times. And Pete and I fused the game into creation when both of us had been on little-to-no sleep. So, how smart are we (hint: the answer is “very”)?

Otherwise, my brothers are leaving tomorrow as it is the end of their Thanksgiving break. I have to work in the morning. And then I have to start facing some demons of mine. Should be both fun and exhilarating! Whooboy! Daryl will call me at work tomorrow, though, since I don’t do anything at all on Sunday’s but sit and get about $18 an hour to answer the phone once (this is historically the average amount of work I have done on a Sunday thus far). So that’ll be cool. She’ll be driving home from seeing her family for Thanksgiving, so I’ll get to talk to her all about her exciting times!

Anyhow, that’s it, really. Pretty much an action-packed week since Wednesday with no real downside to anything (aside from running into Girl from Work today and having to tell her the reason I canceled was so I could play a board game… errr…). Not too shabby.

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: even flow – pearl jam


Added March 31, 2016
Telling Girl from Work that I canceled hanging out because I was going to play a board game never happened. I just plum lied and said I got busy with other stuff. I wanted things from her and worked my best mojo to make it happen.
Turns out, she probably would have been cool with the board game excuse.
Monopoly-Risk is going to become more real than you can possibly imagine, sooner rather than later. What does that mean? Man, I don’t know. Shut up.

Frequently Mentioned Truths – Feelin’ Good, Feelin’ Free

Time to clear the cobwebs
Time to bear the crime

Had a debate yesterday with a friend about the importance of Thanksgiving and why he thought its a stupid holiday. I simply directed him here: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/thanksgiving-rules.php
The guy that wrote this article is my current hero.

Went to work today and oh man was it somethin’ else. Everyone was in a good mood (likely an after-effect of Thanksgiving meals). You know what, thank God for America. We might be stupid 9/10ths of the time, but we have the best food ideas ever. Whoever started the tradition of having Thanksgiving be mostly about the food was awesome and deserves a high five of some sort. Perhaps a “down-low” version is in order?

Getting the final bits in order for my New Year’s event(s). Seeming more and more likely that I’ll either spend it hanging with Aaron or with Rachel. Not 100% on this, yet. Rachel is closer but Aaron will be more fun. Hmm… When isn’t Aaron more fun, however? However, Rachel could maybe use some outside-friends to cheer her up. She’s going through a rough patch the likes of which I’ve not seen (primarily because I haven’t seen her in almost a year, so…) and could stand to have some company that isn’t in any way directly related to her current plight. And I’m awesome, so, y’know, I’ll help just like that!
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In regards to a certain someone regarding my livejournal page as “pathetic” (and since there’s no way you won’t read this, anyhow), I feel as though I should specify two things about this here “journal”:

1) Never in my life have I produced an online journal for the benefit of anyone but me. Nine times out of ten the posts don’t have information anyone will find of interest anyhow. Its usually dull, inane drivel that I find entertaining years down the road. People that write online journals for attention are sad. And yes, while it is true that I did create the site, here, for cheap entertainment purposes, even those reasons aren’t “pathetic” simply because of their satirical manner and the original post mocking your inability to write poetry. I hate to admit this (I really do, primarily because I can’t believe – given recent circumstances – I’m going to agree with her on anything) but Carol was right about your writing. If people don’t have a way into your work, your work blows chunks, kid. And that shallow attempt at spite, pg21? Yeeeeeeesh. Haven’t met one person that hasn’t laughed at that, yet. THAT, my friend, was pathetic.

2) The pathetic part about it, though, is that you continue to read it. Even if it is aimed at you, you keep coming back. “I’m curious about what people put online” is bogus. I’d been writing on Xanga and my school blog the entire year we were together and you showed no interest. You’ll have some lame excuse for that, now, I’m sure (only because now you have time to think about it before you say it), but if you were really curious, you probably should have showcased that a bit more. Quit reading it, y’know? That way you look like you’re actually “moving on” and not simply a pathetic shell of your former self. Then you can get the high ground. I don’t want it (obviously) so quit giving it to me.

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Tomorrow we’re playing Monopoly-Risk and, once again, the Great Yakutsk Empire will be victorious! Since it takes nearly 10 hours to finish a game, we went ahead and set up tonight and, lo and behold, the yellow army holds Yakutsk. I actually won last year, which was nice, since I was one of the game’s co-amalgamators. Pete and I really should market this bastard to the company that made both games. We built a tight ship and a fun, competitive game. Turns out, my brother and I work fairly well together. Whodathunkit?

Lastly, the fam and I were watching Fiddler on the Roof and I’d never really seen it. Pete was trying to entice me with its content as follows:

Pete: It’s got Jewish Russians!
Me: Well why wouldn’t I watch it?
Pete: I don’t know, but its like combining your ex-girlfriends into one movie!
Me: Not unless there’s a bisexual Jewish Russian.

This was funny for obvious reasons.

Current Location: THE GREAT YAKUTSK EMPIRE
Current Mood: energeticenergetic

Current Music: small fish – porcupine tree


 

Added March 31, 2016
I have apologized or come clean about a great number of these posts and their target but I must say the following:
The fact that “The Russian” called this blog pathetic and my reasoning behind why it wasn’t is completely accurate. I stand by it entirely. Especially looking back at the final product. This blog served its immense purpose, which shifted through the time it was actively updated. That line about continuing to not want the high ground is also so on the nose and damned self-aware that I can’t believe Young Skyler wrote it without any sarcasm. It was just true.
Anyhow, seeing that we had to set up the game the night before reminds me that we probably need to do that this coming April when Aubrey and I go to visit the family in TN and play the game. It saved a bunch of time.

Frequently Mentioned Truths – Rude Mood and Full of Food

Got time, time to wait for tomorrow
to find it, to find it, to find it

Spent some time today simply listening to music. It feels good to know that music rocks more than anything else, sometimes. Most times. Right now, in particular. Played music with my brothers a bit, then ate too much food. Thanksgiving makes for one sleepy Skyler. Ugh. Pfft. Bluh.

What am I thankful for this year, you ask? Well, a whole bunch of things. But my primary two things are things I’m almost ashamed to admit.

The first is for Daryl who, through and through, has been my best friend for over two years, now. That gal is a standup lady and a real solid buddy. No one gets me quite like Daryl does and, well, I’m just glad I’ve got the relationship with her that I have, right now. Can’t think of how the past year and four months would have gone without her. Both my greatest support and my greatest friend.

Second is the fact that Aliona is in California. Given the current situation, I can’t imagine how horrible things would be if she were closer than she is. I’ll leave it at that.

Otherwise, the normal things apply. Family, friends, work, the writing job I’m working with my agent on (whooboy! writing!), good food, a cool dog, and – above all else – the fact that I’m still this awesome.

Overall, its pretty cool.

Now bring on the pie.

Current Mood: fullfull
Current Music: whatever is on the tv right now. sonic 3 music, i think…


Added March 31, 2016
Daryl did get me through. Too bad that friendship got muddled beyond recognition.
I haven’t touched an instrument in more years than I can count. I keep wanting to learn Megalovania but, well, that ain’t happenin’ anytime soon.
Now, bring on the pie!

Frequently Mentioned Truths – I Am a Slave but I Will Not Give You the Keys

Please forgive me
You know I lost my mind

Well. This stupid sickness is about to be the end of me. I don’t know what’s up, but I do know this: I hate it, whatever it is. Turns out I can’t get any better until I’ve made strides to fix my life (this is a wild assumption in no way based on the truth), so I have no choice but to turn tail and run. Although, it is more likely that I’ll just stay the course and get better naturally, since I’m not stupid enough to believe in karma or anything like that. Well, not that karma is stupid. But its nonsense if you don’t believe in it, and I don’t believe in it, so… there you go.

I’m about ready to make my first video diary for playing Primal Eyes, that piano song I’ve been learning slowly. I pretty much only have time to practice on my days off, so I don’t really get too many opportunities to continue to stay bad at it. That’s pretty much my goal, too. If I don’t play when I can, I’ll only get worse. But I don’t really think I’m getting any better at it when I do play it, so that kinda means I’m stuck just hoping I can work it out or something. I don’t know, way I figure, I’ll never get any better at it.

Had to cancel/postpone this date with Girl from Work. Primary reason is that its Thanksgiving weekend and my family will all be home on Saturday and I already work half the day so going out that night would mean I wouldn’t see them at all. Second reason is that I’m simply stalling to buy more time. I don’t know what for, though. Mayhaps I’m just waiting for some kind of sign that it’s either OK for me to show some real interest or the opposite, a dark omen of some kind. Either way, I really don’t know what I’m doing at all, here, and thats as scary – to me – as it always is. I am never in control of a situation, but usually I can convince myself otherwise so much that I survive. This is not one of those times.

Trying to get my New Year’s stuff in order, too. Aaron invited me out to his folks’ for a huge thing, my friend in Lincoln, Amber, and I have been talking somewhat about a little “going-out”-ing, and Daryl has invited me to Des Moines for adventure. My plan was, originally, to head to L.A. to spend it with Aliona, but that’s not going to happen, now. Just another example of how things I had in place were demolished within an instant. So I don’t know what I’m going to do. Sometimes, stuff just sucks so hard that I don’t even know why I bother waking up in the morning. Then I remember that, if I don’t wake up, I won’t get to complain about any of it and no one will get to be annoyed by hearing about my pain. I think thats a 50/50 situation.

Maybe all that’s left is time unspent.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: synesthesia – porcupine tree


Added March 31, 2016
“Maybe all that’s left is time unspent” – There I go again, thinking I’m smart.
I wonder how different things would be if I’d gone to Lincoln or Des Moines instead of Minnesota. I don’t believe in choice, though, so this is futile. Because to examine the possibility of past options and their respective outcomes hinges entirely on the existence of choice. Since it isn’t real, there are no possible “other outcomes” and, thus, pointless to examine.
I remember trying to learn piano, again. I’d taken lessons as a kid a bunch and I still retain some of the know-how to this very day, though in very limited capacity. “Primal Eyes” is the best song I ever managed to play, though. I wasn’t that great at it but I was getting there. Some day, maybe, I’ll complete my training.