So I wanted to play a few select Guitar Hero songs I’ve had in my head all day.
But I just worked my arms through weight lifting.
Now my left arm simply has no desire to comply.
Added August 30, 2016
All this talk of working out? Also a veiled attempt to impress someone I wasn’t even actively dating, yet.
I have been forced to quit writing my current story. By the main character’s insecurities, anxieties, and apparent social disorders.
When I left him last, Everbody was on a men’s room toilet, attempting to relieve the tension and anxiety he assumed he could rid through his… well, end. But he discovered that there was a problem with this.
Everbody, at this point in the story, has found the object he’s been looking for his entire life, the one thing that makes him complete (or so he thinks). He’d thought he’d found it multiple times before, but had failed each and every time.
Now that the real deal is in front of him, within his grasp, he is shut down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically as a result.
To quote Everbody (and the section’s title), he is simply “Not Ready” yet.
I hadn’t ever anticipated that this would happen to him, at all. I know how the story ends. This CAN’T happen in that ending. But I can’t NOT persue it, the concept of his continuing discoveries is too great to pass up. I thought I could make a choice, take time off from the story and examine the pros and cons of each possible answer.
But I was wrong.
It turns out that Everbody can never be the same after this. From this point on in his life, Everbody will be affected by his discovery in the bathroom that day, with his pants down around his ankles. That he is too scared, anxious, and self-concious to simply reach out and grasp what he’s always wanted. This holds him there, in that bathroom, until he and I can figure out what his next move should be.
Not WILL be. Should be. I’m not going to ruin this for him.
I’ve got my own life to ru(i)n.
Added April 12, 2017
Short version: while pooping at work Young Skyler realized he had legit feelings for The Russian and, since Everbody was simply Young Skyler in writing form, he had to suffer the same fate.
Eventually I got off the toilet.
Everbody sits there to this day.
I should let him off the can and allow him to move on, but other things about the story killed it, too, namely the “Lonely Hearts Club” sections, but I think we’ll get to that, eventually.
I have been forced to quit writing my current story. By the main character’s insecurities, anxieties, and apparent social disorders.
When I left him last, Everbody was on a men’s room toilet, attempting to relieve the tension and anxiety he assumed he could rid through his… well, end. But he discovered that there was a problem with this.
Everbody, at this point in the story, has found the object he’s been looking for his entire life, the one thing that makes him complete (or so he thinks). He’d thought he’d found it multiple times before, but had failed each and every time.
Now that the real deal is in front of him, within his grasp, he is shut down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically as a result.
To quote Everbody (and the section’s title), he is simply “Not Ready” yet.
I hadn’t ever anticipated that this would happen to him, at all. I know how the story ends. This CAN’T happen in that ending. But I can’t NOT persue it, the concept of his continuing discoveries is too great to pass up. I thought I could make a choice, take time off from the story and examine the pros and cons of each possible answer.
But I was wrong.
It turns out that Everbody can never be the same after this, no matter what. Even if I took all of this out, from this point on in his life, Everbody will be affected by his discovery in the bathroom that day, with his pants down around his ankles. That he is too scared, anxious, and self-concious to simply reach out and grasp what he’s always wanted. This holds him there, in that bathroom, until he and I can figure out what his next move should be. Not WILL be. Should be.
I’m not going to ruin this for him.
I’ve got my own life to run.
PS: I used to think it was cool that, if you Googled me, there was about 9billion things about me and Wal-Mart. Now I find it annoying.
Added August 30, 2016
I can still see Everbody there, on that toilet. I will always feel bad for leaving him behind.
The PS about Google was a veiled attempt to get The Russian to look at my Wal-Mart stunt so I could earn some cred.
Young Skyler was so subtle, you guys.
I have been forced to quit writing my current story. By the main character’s insecurities, anxieties, and apparent social disorders.
When I left him last, Everbody was on a men’s room toilet, attempting to relieve the tension and anxiety he assumed he could rid through his… well, end. But he discovered that there was a problem with this.
Everbody, at this point in the story, has found the object he’s been looking for his entire life, the one thing that makes him complete (or so he thinks). He’d thought he’d found it multiple times before, but had failed each and every time.
Now that the real deal is in front of him, within his grasp, he is shut down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically as a result.
To quote Everbody (and the section’s title), he is simply “Not Ready” yet.I hadn’t ever anticipated that this would happen to him, at all. I know how the story ends. This CAN’T happen in that ending. But I can’t NOT persue it, the concept of his continuing discoveries is too great to pass up. I thought I could make a choice, take time off from the story and examine the pros and cons of each possible answer.
But I was wrong.
It turns out that Everbody can never be the same after this, no matter what. Even if I try to take it out, from this point on in his life, Everbody will be affected by his discovery in the bathroom that day, with his pants down around his ankles. That he is too scared, anxious, and self-concious to simply reach out and grasp what he’s always wanted. This holds him there, in that bathroom, until he and I can figure out what his next move should be.
Not WILL be. Should be. I’m not going to ruin this for him.
I’ve got my own life to ru(i)n.
Added April 25, 2017
Almost 100% certain that this post has shown up at least one other place so I won’t say much, here, aside from the fact that I’m still blasting this Gorillaz “Humanz” album and it is incredible, even the weakest tracks are growing on me.
Not the place for this commentary? I don’t care.
The last time I was ever serious about lifting and/or working out was in my early years of high school.
I did squats last night for the first time in nearly five years.
Both of my legs are completely shut down, today.
My arms are like “Ha ha. You guys suck.”
But my legs don’t take any offense… they know the arms will have their day…
Added August 30, 2016
I used to be able to do mad squats. Probably still could, today. An old joke used to be that I had the strongest legs in the family. Ask Pete, he’ll confirm.
Or, he would if he had any memory after his brain issues.
“This is summer?” a man asked of the sun.
The sun smiled and replied, “this is summer.”
Added August 30, 2016
What is this?
Moving on.
i’m 22
and i feel old.
the other day, as a girl was getting out of my car, i realized that i can’t allow myself to believe that other people have the capacity to think.
i can see them physically, can smell them, hear them, feel them… and for all these representations of their “selves” i can’t ever see their true self, the part of them that plans out and goes about performing all these representations, knows the reasons behind them….
i’m in des moines, celebrating the 4th of july. on the third i took the president of drake’s lit group to Transformers (awesome by the way. i’m serious; if you tell me it sucked, i will never speak to you again. test me) and when she got out of the car i became overly-aware of the fact that i’d never, ever know what she had been thinking the entire time. what she thought of my jokes, the movie, my driving ability, etc.
she could tell me, but then again i’m having to trust a verbal representation of her, rather than the true essence of her ‘self’.
i watched Invader Zim and looked at funny websites the afternoon of the 4th with my friend Morgan, and while she was laughing and i was laughing and we were all having a great time, i knew that i’d never really know exactly why she thought things were funny. i could assume it was funny to her for the same reasons that it was funny to me, but perhaps she has something in her past that increases the humor, or she has a affinity to laugh at cats ‘has-ing’ things. i’ll never know.
i met some new people this weekend; what do they think of me? of the food i eat? the clothes i wear?
i shared music with old friends; how do i know what they really liked and why?
i ran into my freshman year roommate at valley west mall; what did he really think when he saw me, at random, out there?
the answers to these questions, all of them interesting and good and thought-provoking (to me, at least), really have no answer that is required of them, because the question itself is irrelevant. i can’t comprehend that anyone else can even HAVE cognizant reactions to their environment. i can’t believe they reason out solutions to problems. i can’t believe they say one thing, but think another.
i think i’m the only person on earth who can.
i’m having a strange birthday…
Added April 11, 2017
I get it, Young Skyler. I still suffer the same burden; not knowing how it is possible other people experience cognition. It is a horror.
This was a time of great change for Young Skyler, overall. He was actively pursuing a woman (The Russian) and taking steps to better himself, overall – being more social, trying to experience new things, etc.
It quickly unraveled, but here for a bit, it was exciting times.
A FUCKING DECADE AGO.
Zombies are the enemy. They are not something to be taken lightly. If ANY SINGLE PERSON tries to get me to add that stupid Facebook Zombie thing, I will unfriend you.
Daryl… Kyle… I will go easy on you. But I’m serious; One zombie invite = instant unfriending. Oh yeah….
Where’s the “Legitimate Threats” application, Facebook?
Added August 30, 2016
I was at once both too hard on those stupid Facebook game invites and too far up my own rear regarding zombies. Sigh.
Hmmm……
I will have to deal with this situation in a careful manner…
Added August 30, 2016
Went with The Russian (who would probably be at once both offended and amused that she is only referred to as “The Russian”) to a movie under the pretense of getting to know each other so we could co-manage the LIT group at Drake.
Crushed on her almost instantly.
Whoops!
(In more ways than one…!)
skylerbartels 