Facebook – “Love” = Super-Dumb

Tonight my good friend Daryl confessed to me that she was in love with me. She told me that:

“the amount of love in my heart is roughly equal to the number of gallons of water in the ocean and lakes and rivers of this world combined, times two”

And there were other things said, but the first line was the only thing that really caught my attention.

“That’s a lot of love,” I thought to myself, upon reading such an IM from Daryl. “There is a lot of water on this planet already, but to multiply it by two?”

Simply too much.

And so, while I am flattered, and while Daryl is a nice girl with a bright(?) future ahead of her, I will be forced to reject her love. I could simply never think of her as anything aside from a friend. A good friend; a great person to talk to, but not to make out with.

If this breaks your heart, Daryl, I apologize. It isn’t my intent. I can just never return your feelings. I hope we can still be friends. (although, after this… I am quite sure that will be impossible).

-Skyler

PS: Sorry if this is too public for you. I just felt everyone should know.

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Added April 8, 2016
I don’t even know what to say. There is so much that is hilarious about this post, in hindsight, that it doesn’t even need to be discussed. I don’t remember this post, I don’t remember the quoted IM. I don’t remember this at all.
But as funny as this post is, the last-minute sweep by Aaron Jaco’s comments win this whole thing. I can’t believe how hard I’m laughing.