HM – An Evening with Ross

Day 264: An Evening With Ross

 

On the subject of beat-up wives sticking with abusive husbands:

Ross: “I give any woman I marry… If I’m mean to you, a bastard for 50 years… you can belt me everyday when I have a stroke.”
Someone: “Yeah, but you’d like that though…”
Ross: “I would! I’m that disturbing! I hope thats my future!”

On the subject of oversexualized youth:

Ross: “My God… I’m oversexualized… TO THE MAX!!”

On the subject of “101 ways to please your woman”:

Ross: “Instead of telling her to hold her breath at climax, just put a bag over her head.”

On the subject of Ben & Jerry’s:

Ross: “One of my ex-girlfriends sold drugs out of a Ben & Jerry’s”

On the subject of breakups:

Ross: My last girlfriend didn’t even want to have sex anymore after we broke up… that’s why she’s a bi-itch!

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Added February 11, 2017
Back in college I would have given anything to hang out with that dude, full-time. I thought he was so cool and funny.
Looking back at these quotes I’d jotted down during that stupid night class about “Reading/Writing Responsibility” (which he did make bearable, at least), I don’t think he was as funny as Young Skyler must’ve.